So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.
they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change
Oh, they were.
Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous
Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo
Please observe this terribly accurate depiction of my boyfriend and me
here’s a better depiction
try this, actually
you think you’re gonna win this
Oh I don’t think. I know
petition to dub this post the cutest thing ever
what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt
Wait there are toilets like that?
what an incredible experience it must be
im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt
fun fact: once in biology my teacher told us that “if you’re ever crying wipe the tears all over your face and they’ll help clear up your skin” then he explained that because tears are designed to clear dust and dirt from your eyes and will do the same for your skin and clear up acne and i remember thinking “excellent, fandom will make me beautiful”
this isn’t how i want to be remembered
!ALL TIME LOW G I V E A W A Y!
- Must be following me. (alexsmalldickgaskarth) **obviously I’ll be checking**
- Likes and reblogs both count.
- No giveaway blogs
- Reblog as many times as you want to, but please don’t spam.
- I’ll ship worldwide.
- If you have a question, ask me here.
- I’ll use random.org to find a winner.
- If the winner doesn’t response within 24 hours I’ll have to randomly select a new winner.
- one All Time Low Tour Shirt (size M, i think)
- “The city comes alive” GLMR KLLS jumper (size M)
- one signed “don’t panic” booklet + CD
- the valentines Kerrang! Issue with ATL Cover
- GLMR KLLS Poster
***maybe I’ll add some stuff, maybe not, we’ll see**
For 10 extra entries, follow my instagram and message me your username!
GIVEAWAY ENDS 30th of AUGUST !
none pizza with left beef
It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef
ive missed you
#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)
I love None Pizza with Left Beef.
3th time i’ve reblogged this
I remember reading this creepy story years ago, but I’ve searched and searched and I can not find it at all, so here’s my own written version of it:
I hate sleeping alone. I know, I’m older and I shouldn’t be afraid of the monster under my bed, but this monster is inside my head. It’s a voice.
At first it’s soft.
"Please help me."
I look around my room. Complete darkness. There’s nothing around me. The disembodied voice continues to get louder and more demanding.
It’s booming now. I’ve tried to tell my mother about the voice many times before, but she ignores me. The voice vibrates against my skull.
“COME ON. I’M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.”
I put the palm of my hands against my ears to try and shut it out. Sometimes it works. I really wish my mom would help me. She barely talks to me anymore these days. I hear it again.
“PLEASE!!!!!! JUST LISTEN TO ME!!!!!”
I feel two icy hands on my shoulders, and I jump out of bed. This was it. I’ve had enough. I run to my mother’s room.
"Mom! Mom! The voices are back. Please let me just sleep with you for tonight."
My mom immediately wakes up and rolls over. Her eyes are wide open with concern. She takes out her cell phone and dials in a number. She says:
"Hello? Doctor? I’m sorry for calling this late but I’m hearing the voices again."
Holy plot twist
Dude that gave me goosebumps!
✿ primadonna girl ✿
✿ all i ever wanted was the world ✿
Is that bow taped onto that snake
I’m pretty sure that’s kind of a fuckin’ bad thing to do
u fuckin serious m8 it was literally a pencil eraser sized boop of double sided tape gently laid on her head so the bow would stay on
i promise you my twelve foot long, 30-pound burmese python survived a boop of tape to the noggin
Omfg I missed that response somehow until I saw someone else unrelated rebloggle it to my feed
I thought it was funny until I realized the cat doesn’t run away but it rolls away now it’s fucking hilarious
IT JUST ROLLS AWAY IM CRYING
OMG I’M SO DONE
The dog’s just like…… dafuq?
I’m so done
I don’t know what to think any more. Of course that could be due to how much I’m laughing
holy fuck! so how did the penguins taste?????
this is the cutest video in the entire world. this seal is just so afraid for this dumb weird baby she thinks she’s found out in the ocean. have a bird. have another bird. no, see, eat the bird! the bird is food! why won’t this stupid baby eat. open your mouth you idiot baby i will feed you bird if it’s the last thing i do
Urgent - Please Spotlight:
I regret to tell you that Christina Fonthes - a dear friend and organiser of Rainbow Noir has been held against her will in The Congo - she was on a family holiday with her mother who has decided to have Christina ‘cured’ of her sexuality.
Christina has managed to escape from her aunt’s house and is currently hiding out with a friend. She has access to internet and has been communicating with us via email. The next available flight is 2nd September - 5 days away! Chris needs help and protection from the British Embassy in Congo but her mother has reported her missing and therefore we need to get in contact with both the UK Home Office and UK embassy in Congo to let them know that she is in danger and that her mother is lying/the one endangering her life!!
PLEASE SHARE THIS ON ALL YOUR NETWORKS. CALL, EMAIL, TWEET the British embassy on behalf of Christina - the more we call, the more attention it will bring to her case and hopefully they will act quicker in getting Christina to a safe place.
HER MOTHER HAS HER PASSPORT AND TRAVELING DOCUMENTS!
CHRISTINA’S LIFE IS IN DANGER. PLEASE DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.
If you can help please contact @RainbowNoirMCR or @WritersofColour on twitter.
UK EMBASSY: 0871 050 5840
DETAILS OF THE EMBASSY IN CONGO ARE HEREhttps://www.gov.uk/government/world/organisations/british-embassy-kinshasa
Please re-tumblr this. This is an actual friend of ours and we need your help to get her home safe.
this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time